I am a stubborn person. That’s what other people know about me. Don’t get near me if I am too drunk. You’ll be pissed off. Don’t whisper anything sweet into my ears, I might fall for your words. Don’t kiss me goodbye or goodnight, I might be dreaming of you with me naked. Don’t fall in love with me. I might be playing with your heart.

I love good food. That’s what I always tell my family and friends. My doctor said: Avoid eating fatty foods. Does that mean, I get to say goodbye to my ex-bf jessie LOL. Kidding. What I am trying to say is, I am heartbroken if I can’t eat Pinoy’s all time favorite: LECHON! But what can I do?

I love coffee. My coffee mates know all about my fascination for brews. Then, one day, my doctor said: #1 guinadili on your list: COFFEE! What the **LL! I asked him twice, ah no, thrice. Is he kidding me? But nah, he is damn serious.

My water: Coca-cola. But I don’t have a coca-cola body hehehe. I admit, since I became an addict of Coke, my tummy grew larger and larger everyday. Yeah. But, I can resist and live a day, or week, or months or even years without my bestfriend coke. I can hear dokie telling me…”I told you so..”

Lastly, I am damn broken. When I can no longer enjoy tagay with my friends. Or get horny after a drinking session. I guess I’ll be missing my old, drunkard self because alcohol is a no no no. I can’t anymore drink and moan. But at least, I can be sane after a nightlife with my friends. That’s all that matters.

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it's been awhile that I haven't drink..sip...swallow..and caress my good friends beer and tequila.

Got invites from my colleagues and college friends, and oh, my drinking buddies of not too long ago...but nah. Things change. I don't know now my dosage of alcohol...but honestly, am missing it. Its effects on me..the fun when am drunk..

I am happy when you were still with me...am even happier, when I let you go..

(My officemates got so disappointed...guess they more of liked me if I am drunk) 

Book :: Paolo Coelho's

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A henna, that is.

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I appease myself...everytime I am hurt.

Smiling. Be happy for me now. I am slowly picking up the pieces....

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feeling his heavy and cold heart...

I pretended, I denied...that I have not loved.

And so I go on.

Allowing myself to drown in pain and madness.

now, someone's here that bind us..

I can't pretend. It can't be denied.

But it's not his fault.

He wasn't mine, after all.

I cried. I am deeply hurt.

"the only one in my blog...that long..that deep..."

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Namimiss ko na ang buhay sa unibersidad. Yung matagal na biyahe, yung magsuot ng uniform, yung crowded na tambayan, yung block section, yung malayo layong lakaran papunta sa next class.

Gusto kong bumalik sa dati kong university, o kahit hindi sa dati. Nakakamiss lang. Kaso 'di na pwede, wala na akong oras.

May palipat lipat pa kasi akong nalalaman e. Hay, nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.

I wanna go back!

-----

Off topic.

Napaglaruan ako ng multo nung nag-inuman kami sa bahay ng kabarkada ko. Trip niyang isabit yung tsinelas ko dun sa terrace. Buti nalang 'di siya sumunod sa bahay.

Alam mo yun..? Iwan mo lang sandali yung tsinelas mo, tapos maya maya andun na siya nakasabit. Ewan ko kung mga kabarkada ko nantritrip, pero makikita ko naman kasi kung may kumuha eh. Nakaharap lang ako, ang tingin ko taas baba lang, 'di ako lumingon ng kaliwa't kanan, makikita ko kung may kumuha nun. Dalawang beses siya nangyari nung araw na iyon. Kasi may multo daw talaga dun, bata at babaeng nakaputi. Malamang yung bata daw yun. Swerte ko at 'pinaglaruan niya lang tsinelas ko. Nananakit daw kasi yun sabi nung kabarkada ko, sinakal na kasi siya nun, buti nalang tinulungan siya nung nakaputi.

O basta yun. Masaya naman ang inuman.. lasing, maingay. Haha

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Habang nakapila ako sa pila ng tricycle pauwi, naisip ko na lang bigla na gumawa ng inventory ng mga naging lalaki sa buhay ko mula nung puppy love stage hanggang sa kasalukuyan. Alam kong hindi 'to masaya basahin dahil puro kalandian lang 'to.

Note: Hindi pala included ang crushes dahil mahirap tandaan yung mga forgettable.

1. Edmar T.
Status: Ewan
Technically, eto yung first boyfriend ko. Kaso, bata pa ko nito, grade 6. Eto yung mga panahon na hindi ko alam kung bakit ko nagugustuhan ang isang lalaki. Hindi ko talaga kinoconsider na ex-boylalu ang palakang ito kasi wala naman talagang thing.

2. Aldrich P.
Status: Boyfriend
Pero under pa rin ng puppy love. Eengot-engot pa ako ng mga panahong ito, eh. Eto yung stage kung kelan ako natutong maging emo-kunware. Grade 6 din ako nito. Nag-break din kami pagkatapos ng ilang weeks at naalala ko umiyak pa ako nun in public. Grabe.

3. Giorgio M.
Status: Ewan
Di ko talaga alam. Malandi pa sakin 'tong unggoy na 'to eh. Naalala ko nung ipagpalit niya ako kay Jeniffer.

4. Mark U.
Status: Boyfriend
Eto yung nakakatawa kong ex-boylalu na sobrang posero grabe grabe grabe. Posero talaga! Favorite niya ang Good Charlotte at Slip Knot noon. Mali-mali pa lyrics niya kapag kinakanta niya yung mga songs. Nagde-date kami sa RFC, yung sosyaling mall dito sa Las Piñas na minsan nang ni-raid dahil mejo DVD-haven siya. Makapal mag-pulbo etong si Mark. Sobrang pangit naman. Di ko nga ulit maintindihan kung bakit ko to naging boylalu. 1st year high school na ako nito. Nakipag-break ako sa kanya sa computer shop, binagsak ko lang yung break-up letter ko sa computer desk niya at may walk out drama pa. Nakakatuwang alalahanin.

5. Arjan B.
Status: First real boyfriend
Si Arjan talaga ang first real boylalu ko. Malapit na din kami mag-two years nung naghiwalay kami. 10 pa ang anniversary date namin. Sobrang illegal talaga ang kalandian ko noon kaya ako ang nagpupunta sa bahay niya sa Valley 2, Parañaque. Sta. Rosa pa ang street ng bahay nila. 5 years ang tanda niya sa akin. Yung kapatid niyang ka-edaran ko, sobrang gwapo. Anyway, masaya naman kami noon. Na-meet ko family niya, yung mga kapatid niyang mga bata, pati mga katulong na rin. Sa kanya ko natutunan yung Piattos na inuulam sa kanin na hanggang ngayon ginagawa ko pa rin. Tabachoy kasi 'tong si Arjan. Lakas kumain tsaka may mga deadly vices. 2nd year high school ako nito. Saksakan talaga ako ng kalandian.

6. HSH
Status: Ka-flirt
Eto yung lalakeng di naman nagseseryoso kapag hindi hot yung babae. Pero willing naman makipag-make-out and everything. Ang rude sa text pero parang bata makipag-usap in person. Sobrang galing niya mag-O2jam, bilis ng daliri. Tangkad pa at singkit, mga tipo kong lalaki. Pero ayun, as usual.

7. Marco G.
Status: 2nd real boylalu
Eto yung so far pinaka-real. At pinaka-masakit.

8. Joshua A.
Status: Ka-flirt
Eto yung latest kong boylalu na ayaw naman akong sagutin kaya sinukuan ko na. Ang hot ng katawan, ka-R.O. ko to noon eh. Crush ko na siya nung may R.O. pa kami hanggang sa nakakasabay ko sa FX at kung saan-saan pa. Bata pa to si Josh, kelangang ma-enlighten ng sobra-sobra.

Konti yang 8. May mga naging ultimate crushes pa kasi ako tulad ni Paulo N. May mga lalaking di ko na talaga sinama dahil nga sabi ko, walang thing.

Nakakatawa.

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i just have to say, november 13, 2009 was truly amazing. nuff said. <3

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